"If you like it then you shoulda put a ring on it"

That's the song that was on the radio as we piled into the car to drive home from Church tonight.
(We brought Chris some dinner since he didn't have time to come home between school and church.)
 I barely registered the song, as I was waiting for all the buckles to click, and traffic to clear, and taking a few deep breaths after an hour of crazy excited girls running around church, playing with the water in the font, etc.

But then Katherine asked, "What does that even mean, why is she singing about a ring, and what is she putting a ring on?"

Hmmm, deep thoughts. (We spend a fair amount of time driving to and from Church, and it always seems that we end up having interesting discussions during the drive.)  I thought a half a second before I offered something along the lines of: When you decide you want to be married, you give a ring to show that you want to love that person forever. The lady singing the song is sad because the person she loved didn't love her as much; she didn't get a ring.

Now, I know that's not exactly it, but I thought it worked for my purposes.
Until Katherine continued....

"How do you know you want to get married?"

"Well, when you love someone so much, and you know that you want to spend the rest of your life with that person, you decide you want to get married."

K:"Can girls marry other girls? Because I want to marry ____ (a girl in her class)"

Deep Breath.

"Actually,  in some states, girls can marry girls, and boys can marry boys, but not everywhere."

Maggie:"That's not fair!"

"You're right! And actually, you know how we've talked about the Supreme Court, where they talk about if laws are fair or unfair? They're talking about that idea this week. And trying to decide how to make things fair."

(Note, to the best of my knowledge, the girls had no prior knowledge of the timeliness of this topic this week)

K:"I hope that girls can marry girls when I'm big."

"I hope you can marry whoever you want to marry. Whether that person is purple or blue or polka dotted, a boy or a girl, with 3 arms or 1 leg, 4 eyes or 2 noses. I hope that you will find someone that you love so much, and someone who loves you so much. I hope that you will always be happy"

(deep sigh, hoping our deep thoughts session was over for the night)

Maggie:"But, if you get married because you love someone so much, why do you get divorced?"

(insert discussion of friends with divorced parents)
(insert my searching my brain for an answer)

"I'm not sure, I think people probably have all different reasons. But sometimes for whatever reason, after they talk about it a lot, and think about it and pray about it, and spend a lot of time deciding, some people decide it's better to get a divorce.  But they still love each other, and they always love their kids."

(more discussion of who has divorced parents, who lives with which parents, etc)

Maggie: Do you get a different ring if you get divorced? Or do you just say 'I'm divorced' and you just are?

"No, you have to go to court, and tell the judge that you want to be divorced, just like when you get married you go to a judge or a priest in the church and tell them you want to get married.  I guess it's kind of like a reverse of getting married."

K:"But you PROMISE to stay married when you get married!"

"Well, lots of things happen, Katherine, lots of things."
(quiet for a few minutes)

Maggie:"Wow, how'd we end up talking about all of this, anyway?"

K:"It was that song about the ring!"

Ah yes, that song about the ring. Thank you Beyonce for prompting our deep thoughts tonight.